Fuck This Sickness Soup Recipe.

So, this is a catchall soup, and is what I make when I or someone I love is sick. It's a mishmash of every possible thing I can think of that's healthy, jammed in a pot, and cooked to awesomeness. Does one have to add everything? No, of course not, it's soup, fuck around with it as much as you want. But this is by far the best pot of awesome I can think of, and how you can do it. The following ingredients should be added to taste, I like a lot of each. The whole concept of this soup is filling a large pot with everything healthy I know of, and having all of the ingredients fight it out. Subtle, no, but I want to get better with this, not show off for a hot date.

A food processor is recommended (and they're cheap, guys, step yer game up), but if you don't have one, just chop everything as small as you possibly can. This will make it cook faster, and give it that "my throat hurts and I don't wanna chew cause I'm sick anyway, and I hate everything" texture that we all desire. When you're sick, you surely don't want to chop things, so just go get that food processor.

Stuff:

Organic Chicken/Veggie Broth: People like Double J are fancy enough to make their own awesome broth, but I'm honestly pretty lazy. Imagine makes some good stuff, and it's easily available, so that's what I get.

Garlic: (anti-bacterial/antioxidant, good for your blood) Use as much as you can, it's wonderful stuff.

Green, Red, Yellow, White Onions: I really try to use any and all four, but green is a must. (vitamin c, fiber, good for your blood, greens have vitamin A)

Habannero peppers: (ENDORPHINS!, vitamin c, mucus clearing action, iron, vitamins, wonderful)

Maitake Mushrooms: (see: HERE for health benefits.) add as much as you can, great for getting better).

Other assorted mushrooms: Any are really good for you, Shiitakes have awesome health benefits, which I'll cover some other time. Can't go wrong with mushrooms (well, edible mushrooms, obviously poison's bad).

Greens: I prefer Kale. Collard's great too. Mustard Greens won't ever get kicked out of my pot. Spinach is a great standby. Whatever your preference, throw a half a bunch in the food processor, and you're good. Iron, roughage, vitamins, tasty.

Parsley: it's not actually just for the side of your plate. (vitamin K, A, C, beta-carotene, pain relief!, cleans your system, good for your blood. not recommended for preggo people or in high doses!) Parsley's great. I'd use a half bunch for a large soup.

Broccoli: another miracle food, (C, A, Fiber, Calcium, Folic Acid) these also I can't get enough of. Handfulls!

Sweet Potatoes: So, let's be honest. I'd rather use Yukon Golds. I mean, I'd really rather use Yukon Golds. Sweet Potatoes are not my favorite, aren't something I like the taste of, in this soup, or otherwise. HOWEVER: they're really good for you, especially if you're fighting off some sickness. (A, Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin, C, Calcium, Iron, Phosphorus, Potassium, Protein and so good in all of these ways that makes me get over the mush taste). So, let's say that the Sweet Potato has what it takes to make you better. Which is what this is about. But if you can't do it (I know plenty of people with the SWTPOT aversion), just sub the Yukons.

Rice: Brown rice is gonna be the better of the brown v. white debate, but a good wild rice/super grain mix is gonna be the way to go. Throw a couple cups in.

TURMERIC: I'm gonna write an essay on turmeric later. Just take my word for it, and put it in. Then put more in. It's made of magic.

Black Pepper: Good for digestion, and needed to make the turmeric really magical.

Tomatoes, or be a cheater: while you're buying your veggie broth, maybe just pick up some tomato soup while you're at it. Otherwise, just grab some tomatoes and throw them in. (C, A, Potassium, Antioxidants, tastetastic).

Extra Virgin Olive Oil: a dab will do you, and it's good for you. (E, Antioxidants)

HOW TO MAKE:
It's really easy. Place your broth and tomato sauce (if you went that route) in a giant pot. Add rice, garlic, and onions. Cook on lowish heat, as you food process everything else. And just keep throwing it in there. I'm sure there's an order that's best, but really, you're gonna end up with all of this stuff, food processed, in a pot, cooked and delicious. I don't cook with a lid, mostly because I am constantly losing lids. I have no idea how this happens. So I add water as I go, as needed.

When the rice is done, you're probably ready to eat. It may need seasoning, as you see fit, these ingredients were certainly not chosen for their taste, though I think it tastes pretty good. I like to add Secret Aardvark Sauce (a Portland gem) and call it good. Do as you need. Eat it till you can't eat anymore, then take a nap, and eat some more. Guaranteed to take what you got, and kick the hell out of it. Get better, guys.